Quite the combination here, but lets dive right in.
At some point, everyone gets lied about and those lies whether they came from people you hardly knew or someone you are somewhat close with, it tends to strike a nerve. A huge pet peeve of mine, is making things up about someone and then adding more fuel to the fire by acting like you know what you’re saying, is the truth. I’ve had this happen a few times and more recently, I had to go through this because I chose to tell my side. This person claimed she knew what was going on with my situation and only looked at one side of the situation (as usual, even though she’s seen the truth, many times) she still chose to make things up about me and act like she’s this know it all (as usual) and has all the answers. I always confided in this person with certain situations because I believed she could help. She never did. My main issue with her, which this has always been my issue is, she doesn’t know how to help people in a healthy way. I would explain to her that, you need to stop helping this other person by just throwing money at them every time they’re in trouble. If someone repeatedly makes mistakes and you bail them out every time, how are they ever going to learn? You have to give them a chance to seek help in other ways and figure out a different solution because there is always another way to go about things. I certainly don’t appreciate help that won’t benefit me in any way nor will I seek it, because I like to figure things out on my own. I really won’t seek it if I know for a fact, everything will be okay. I believe help is okay, to a certain extent.. Know your limits. I gave in to her crap talk towards me to stand up for myself and to really put her in her place, like I’ve tried for years, but she just blamed me for something she knew nothing about. I ended up being the bigger person because that’s my choice when all is said and done. A few days later, I woke up feeling complete peace. Which sounds odd, but I guess it finally hit me that, no matter what lies people say or how much they think they know you, just by certain situations that happen, it truly doesn’t matter. I used to care a lot and I would be the one to always go back and fix it, even if it wasn’t my fault, but I’ve learned to stick to my truth and let these people that don’t matter one bit, say their piece and move on. It doesn’t matter what you do or how you do it, you’re still going to get judged, even by people that know they should have nothing but empathy because they’ve gone through the same thing or something similar. Nothing is easy and not everyone will understand the choices you make because they’re not in your shoes.. Again, it doesn’t matter. I used to think it did matter. By me constantly trying to get this person to just cut the cord with this other person and try to teach them to stop helping in an unhealthy way or trying to get them to understand, it taught me to let go. I never thought I could learn anything from this person, but seeing how much in denial they are about their own choices with how they go about things, made me feel more at peace with my decision to have little to do with them ever again, no matter what happens. I wish I never told this person anything because they used it against me and twisted it, but at the end of the day, I know me, I know how amazing I am and nobody can take that away, especially with their big little lies. Life is good and it’s even better when you remove certain people and realize all is well no matter where life takes you.
Wake up happy, have self love and remind yourself that you’re worth so much more than people’s bullsh*t. 🙂