To be believe or not to believe…

I’ve never been one to judge what people believe in because what other people believe in, is their business. I was raised Christian which was odd because my Ma is Catholic.. Didn’t make a difference because all we did was go to Church every Sunday and be really dedicated. Went to all the events, participated in the plays ( I sang a song) which is something I’m still proud of. :p I  was so into God, that I used to play Church by myself… The Angles,  God, The Holy Spirit were just a few in attendance. I would pray every night, and after, I would put on a show for my mom and make up a dance to show her. Apparently, I had a lot of energy. When I reached High School, I decided that I no longer believed. Too many bad things happened and it seemed like it would never get better so my thought was, if there is a God, why would he let this happen? Why would he want us to be in pain? What am I doing wrong? Blaming myself for things I couldn’t even control or weren’t even my fault. I completely lost my faith and 11 years later, I’m trying out Church again because why not? Can’t hurt.. I dabbled in Buddhism a bit, which I still enjoy because to me, it’s the one religion that made me feel at peace. At least for a short period. In my opinion, I feel people need something to believe in, in order to feel whole. It’s as if we are living in hell, although there are many beautiful things around us, there is still so much evil. Everyday, more crime, more hate, less love, less compassion. Why would God allow that? I’m now on a journey to decide for myself if this higher power is someone I can choose to follow again. I watch documentaries on religion because I find it intriguing and the people on there make very good points that make you question, what if? What if there is a God? What if there isn’t? It seems that religion in general, produces a lot of hate. All these religions attacking each other for what? Shouldn’t religion bring people together? So, what if religion was gone and all we had was each other to believe in… Would that generate more love and care in the world? I don’t like when people shove their religion down the throat of others or my own, because I’ve had that happen a few times and it never did anything, but make me not want to associate with them.. Just because you believe in something so strongly, doesn’t make it real. I’m not a believer in God, but I have had moments where it made me feel good coming out of Church and being surrounded by what seems like positive vibes. If you’re a good person and do good things, then you’re a keeper in my book, no matter what  you believe in. Be nice or get out is my motto. I will definitely update on my spiritual adventure, but for now, to those who spread hate, negativity, are mean and give gross vibes, try to find something that makes you feel happy and whole and put those vibes out into this crazy ass world we live in.

– A




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