First things first.. The point of a blog is to express whatever you feel like expressing. For me, my stories could possibly help another person out so I have no problem calling people out on their bullshit and setting the record straight. If you ( yes, you know who you are) are effected by it, you must feel real bad about what you’ve done. I wrote a nice piece and took it down because why keep giving this person more attention, but as it happens, word got back to me that this person made light of my rape situation and said that what happened to me, wasn’t rape. Well, let me put the definition up for you…
Definition of Rape- Generally, rape is defined as sexual contact or penetration achieved:
- without consent, or
- with use of physical force, coercion, deception, threat.
When I did call and tell you what happened, I was sitting on my friends bed wanting comfort from my sister and all you said was that I shouldn’t have gone to see my parents, then that wouldn’t have happened. Now, you’re going to have the nerve to say this wasn’t rape? How dare you. You don’t want people knowing our business, well, if you would have done the right thing from the start, this wouldn’t be an issue. I would never question or make light if this happened to you. We are completely different and I guess I’m tired of you getting away with everything just because you have your own family now.
This thug that took advantage of me, got into my car, wouldn’t get out of my car and told me to drive around the corner, but I said no because obviously I knew this guy carried guns on him and being as aware as I am, I knew something really bad could happen if I did that. He then took my hand and made me touch him, until he came. He touched me as well, while he was getting what he wanted. He also made me look at him the whole time. I did not in any way want or ask for what happened. Did I say no, no, because I was scared of that outcome. I tried to just talk and hoped he would just leave, but I wasn’t that lucky. I also didn’t want to die or have something happen to my parents because he was staying with them at the time so I stayed quiet about it until I felt like I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I ended up driving home, balling my eyes out, wondering what the fuck just happened. Never ever did I think I would be in that situation . Yes, if only I didn’t go that night, it wouldn’t have happened, but I wanted the comfort of my parents. You want me to stay quiet because you don’t want the world to know what a mean person you are? You try going through life, having that miserable memory in your mind, wishing it could be different, crying from time to time because the thought of it is disgusting. Having people close to me question what happened to me, is disgusting as well. I had to deal with this shit in therapy for so long until I finally was able to not blame myself and learn to say that it’s not my fault. This shitty guy, is in jail again, go figure, so must be a good guy right? I really didn’t want to give you the satisfaction of knowing you got to me, but you ended up reading what I wrote thanks to your” friends,” so thanks to whoever brought it your attention. I hope it makes you realize that you can’t treat people however you want and not expect to be called out. Whether it’s public or not, this is my story and you’re a part of it. Thank goodness for freedom of speech.
I refuse to sit back and let people belittle victims. If anyone is a victim, please don’t allow closed-minded people to hurt you and make you feel like you don’t matter. Speak up and seek help. Nobody deserves to go through life thinking something is their fault, when it’s most definitely not.