Why I Still Have A Facebook

Just like Myspace, Facebook used to be cool in my eyes and I was all about that ”new selfie life” and I have to give an update as if people really cared.. As of recent, I started noticing, even if I post something super meaningful, the people who I would think should be liking it, aren’t, but they’ll like beyond meaningless posts that get attention because they’re more relatable.. The only reason that got to me, was because in real life, they try to act one way, but if they really cared, they would be supportive on every outlet. Everyone has a Facebook and if you don’t, you will, or the next ”best” thing. Old memories will pop up and I’ll either be like, wtf  was I thinking, laugh or smile. Guess Facebook wasn’t a total waste of time.  Most of the people I see on there, either take selfie after selfie and don’t share what’s really going on, which isn’t for everybody, but why have a Facebook then? So people can just stalk other people, who may or may not be telling what’s really going on.. I’m always real no matter what, so I can’t relate to the people who only post happy stuff or joke around 24/7 cause we all know, that’s not you everyday.. Why not share sad days/bad days/maybe need a hug days… Social media already isn’t a reliable source for the truth seekers so I hope a change happens within people sooner than later. Share more, try to be open.. That’s just how I see it. I wish what I know now, I knew back then because it would have helped me avoid situations I wish never happened. I’m definitely more wise so you could say that I’m thankful. I remember getting told, that because I wasn’t posting pictures of myself, that I was changing and not in a good way… That remark didn’t make sense to me, but all it did was show me that I was growing and changing for the better and that person really didn’t know me like I thought they did so win/win for me. I also got hated on for posting certain things and being myself which I told that person to start living their life and quite being worried about mine because I’m doing me and opinions mean nothing. Most of the time, the poeple making the absurd comments, don’t have a life they are proud of so they try and bring down those who are out there and actually live. ”I’m only human, don’t put your blame on me.” I still share even if a few people notice because there are those people who really do care and that’s what matters. Likes, comments, ect, those things don’t matter as long as you stay true to yourself and keep those around who deserve to be around.

P.s.- I got rid of a lot of people and I can honestly say, that felt good. Stalkers who only stalk, aren’t real friends.


What It’s Like To Get Away…

Picking up and leaving comes with a lot of uncertainty, but the issues back home, don’t matter as much anymore. That’s a ”blessing.” For me, it made me realize that, my issues with my sister who tried to discredit my rape experience and tried making me live a life she wanted me to live all while I kept her secrets and was there as much as I could be, hurts less and less, especially being away from her. As odd as it sounds, it’s almost like I never even knew her.. Guess you could say, that’s sad, but enough is enough. I didn’t have to scream or say no because that’s scary shit, future advice sis, look up rape and read all about it before you say what I went through wasn’t that. Again though, being away from people like that makes life feel good again.. Other family issues are there and all other bullshit still lingers, but a little less each day. In the 25 years I’ve been living, I finally feel like I’m right where I’m supposed to be. Not saying it’s not hard, but I’ve always been a pusher and determined to make anything happen, so for me, I know everything is going to be okay. Back home, it felt like weight kept being put on me and nothing got better no matter what I did.. After losing my Elvis, I knew something drastic had to happen. Seemed like everyone else kept living and I wanted to be able to feel what (just living) felt like without the constant stress and memories I no longer wanted to remember. The really hurtful memories are tougher to shake off, but it does get easier to talk about and feel very little for that memory or person. I’ve done what a lot of people I know wanted to do and that makes me feel good. This blog is mainly for me to look back on, but if my words can help someone else, I’m glad I decided to share my life. Not a quiet person, I speak up and I have no problem sharing or talking about anything with whomever as long as you’re genuine and nice. #beniceorgetout

To be continued….

People Who Think They Know What’s Best For You

Something that I’ve always had to deal with, is people who think they know what the best thing to do is when it comes to my life… As a person who let’s people be, unless I see they are going to harm themselves or come to me for advice, I can’t understand the need for people to feel that entitled.  People make choices and either grow from those choices or stay stuck. Being stuck doesn’t mean that’s the wrong choice, you still grow, but that added stress is going to be there. The people who make you feel like crap for the choices you make, are the people I’m mainly talking about. The people who say things out of love, over and over again, definitely have the right to do so, but need to understand that actions speak louder than words therefore, if they really want you to make a different choice, they should be more hands on otherwise, stop saying something. When someone is ready for a change, that change will happen. Even saying something out of love and voicing an opinion that they think is right, isn’t always right. Might be right for them, but not necessarily for you or me. As people, we know what we want to do and although we can get lost in those choices, no one should be put down. You help people, especially if they ask for help… Even if they ask many times for help, you don’t give up on them. Giving support doesn’t have to be just opinions or making someone feel like your way is right, it’s sending a smiley face or saying, ”I love you,” simply saying, ”I’m here if you need anything…” People tend to do what they want despite opinions anyways, so maybe people should try a different approach, rather than the approach they want that person to take. I used to tell someone my opinion on a choice they kept making and I tried helping because I cared, but I realized all I had to do was drop it and just accept their choice, support them by asking how things are and saying, ”I’m here for you no matter what.” Worked for me and it worked for them. If you’re not in that persons shoes, you have no clue what’s best for them, unless they can’t think for themselves nor do you know what they do to make things work. I wish people understood that, but I choose not to stress over what people think and just do me, because only I know what will make me happy and I strive to make my happiness my number one priority.  I’m going to get to where I want to be because I made it happen, not because I was told how to get there.

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